Saturday, November 7, 2009

Saturday's Seven Snarky Snaps

And contrary to the popularly-held misconception, a Spaniard would not say Thaturday'th Theven Tnarky Thnapth. That's Elmer Fudd. Spaniards only -th the c and zs in speech. Which you can put in your pocket and take out for trivia night, though be careful, people may start to call you (yourname)-oogle. I'm just thaying.

So here are seven snaps from the previous week which I think pretty well typify some repeated traveler and expat observations about Chile.

1. The dogs sleep anywhere they feel like it. Also, they are picky eaters and prefer kibble and meat to all forms of carbohydrates. This one has his face in a pile of french fries, and isn't budging. And yes, he was alive.

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2. Just because you call it pizza does not make it pizza. These guys set up here there and everywhere, set up a gas-powered oven of dubious cleanliness and slap down some flattened rolls with a piece or two of sweaty cheese atop. I know we're beating the whole pizza-in-Santiago thing a bit to death, but this truly is an abomination before Italy. Darn cheap though, and will suffice in a pinch. Olives optional.

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3. Things may look the same in Santiago as at home, but when you get a little closer, you'll discover tiny little differences that will make you scratch your head. Also, the native speaker's intuition will never die. I haven't been in a KFC in the United States in at least ten years, but I can nearly guarantee that there is nothing on the menu called "rods."

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4. There is no end to the abuse of dictionaries and machine translation vis-a-vis confused misuse of words. This one is understandable, at least. And I should say, it wasn't translated by the actual postal service here, rather likely a hilltop vendor of postcards and such atop Cerro San Cristobal. No relation to the guy who will pose your kid atop a stuffed zebra and snap a photo, for a price. Why a zebra? Why, indeed.

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5. Inconsiderate motorists are the norm, not the exception. This construction truck has decided to straddle the bike lane during prime travel hours for your pedalling pleasure. Thanks, construction truck! I always look for a reason to swerve out into traffic.

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6. The restroom can be elusive at times, but if you can hold it, it will come.

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7. Even when someone explains to you what is going on and why someone is dressed like a combination of a rat and the center-left presidential candidate/former president (Frei), and even if you speak Spanish, it still doesn't make a whit of sense. But you should always ask anyway, and if you're really curious, look up his channel on Youtube (I'm not that curious, I suppose).

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Brought to you by nosiness, my personal endless store of snark, random silly, and of course, the smashing camera on my phone, which actually isn't half bad, and I still haven't managed to smash.

8 comments:

julie said...

These are all way too fabulous, and you know full well that any bad translations or poor use of words in any language will make me your fan for life.

Erin said...

Rods! Wow... I'm trying to imagine the texture.

Renée said...

Ahhh, the dogs of Santiago. The pic in #1 is hilarious with his little snout in the french fries. Carb coma perhaps.

And I passed that pizza guy mil veces on that corner in Bellavista (is that where you snapped the picture?). In the daytime I would think, gross, but at night after a few pitchers of Escudo, it actually looked kind of good. But alas, I never gave in and instead opted for pan con palta y queso.

Beth said...

I'm interested in your personal translation of 'snarky' because it came up in an English class this week as it was used in an article we were reading. The best I could come up with was a mix of funny criticism. What would you say?

angryredhead said...

Freaking awesome.

Deidre said...

Don't get me started on what Australians think is Mexican food. I can totally feel and understand your outrage about pizza ;)

These are awesome shots.

Sharon said...

That is not a rat!
It's osito Gomilalo a parody of the awful osito gominola.

Margaret said...

Great shots as usual!
by the way, are you going to enter one of your many dog shots in the Bicentennial Chile Dog competition? I think it ends soon!